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When you jump off a cliff and land on a springboard

Slowly but surely, everything in my life changed after that moment of total surrender. Initially, those changes looked scary. My husband and I separated—my heart-centered response to the dissonance I still felt between us.

But over time, each next-right-step carved space for a new, healthier reality to emerge. It was like every time I paused to check my heart, my small fearful ego was stepping back to make room for God to enter the equation. And He did.

I knew when to hold boundaries and when to open my heart. I could feel my next right step from the alignment I felt within me each time I paused to look there in trust.

My husband and I were eventually able to create a new marriage between us with awareness and accountability for all the “stuff” we habitually bring into our relationship.

Ten years later, he is completely sober from sexual acting out, and we’re still growing, stronger than we’ve ever been.

There is nothing we cannot discuss, no part of ourselves we hold back from each other. We are truly, deeply, in it together.

And this miraculous, surrendered pathway has not only brought healing to my relationships, it has skyrocketed every single aspect of my life.

Since then, expanding opportunities have seemed to drop into my lap, right out of the sky, including:

  • Teaching embodiment through fitness to thousands of University students at BYU and UVU for almost 20 years as a group exercise instructor and program coordinator.
  • Running a 12-step non-profit for betrayal trauma and sexual addiction for 3 years as the Executive Director where I learned invaluable lessons on how group healing happens.
  • Starting a mindfulness and wellness studio with my partner Nesha—who I was totally led to through an illogical, gut-level, trauma-related prompting.
  • Taking my 200-level Yoga Training in 2020–even amidst the COVID-19 pandemic!
  • Graduating from a 2 year training (2021-2023) as a Certified Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher through Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach, in partnership with the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center & Awareness Training Institute
  • Graduating from the Teachers of Presence Program with Eckhart Tolle (2023)
  • Studying again with Jack Kornfield (June 2024) in his amazing Interactive Guided Meditation Master Class
  • Guiding and journeying with clients through traumas and transitions of all types:
  • losing a spouse, losing a child, the crisis of betrayal/infidelity, long-term addiction recovery, body issues, disordered eating, lifelong battles with anxiety/OCD, navigating faith transitions, healing perfectionism, helping people to deepen their faith. I truly feel, as I’m able to witness these sacred moments of healing and release, that I am on holy ground with fellow travelers.
  • Continuing to strengthen and improve my relationships with my husband and children: Nate and I just celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary and it keeps getting better. We’ve come so far and still have more progress to make!

As I write them out, I’m still in shock at the amazing places this unbelievable road has taken me: to places I never dreamed I’d go.

I truly believe similar adventures are waiting for you–waiting for anyone who makes the same gut-level decision to let go, commit to the Highest within them, and leap into the unknown with an open, willing heart.

Tomorrow, you’ll get my last email, with the most unbelievable part of my wild ride… and my best invitation into your own adventure, if you’re ready to take it.

Your fellow on the journey,

Becky

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What’s a “Normal” Marriage? – An Invitation to Our Couples Retreat

What is “Normal”?

Life is crazy. This is something we all know. And that’s “normal.” Right?!

For the first 13 years of our marriage, I thought it was completely normal to be chronically over-busy, stressed about work, barely managing to get our kids where they needed to go.

By the time each day ended, all that Nate (my husband) and I had time and energy left for was to plop ourselves on the couch and watch Netflix together.

But when our marriage hit a crisis, I realized I wanted to throw “normal” out. I realized that “normal” is what got us where we were–disconnected from each other, exhausted, resentful, and only going through the motions of life.

That’s when Nate and I started living a completely different way–a “New Normal” is what we called it.

We learned how to pay attention to our emotions, to our bodies—our energy levels, our sense of being aligned or being dysregulated. We learned how to honor and answer our own needs in the moment, and woke up to the fact that we were often unconsciously expecting the other to meet expectations we had not even expressed.

We began to take ownership of our own happiness, and our own resentment too. We learned how to communicate better, in ways that were more accountable and less confrontational. We found we could suddenly have a discussion instead of an argument and that there was less defensiveness all around.

All of these life-changing outcomes came from simple but consistent mindfulness-based practices: becoming more aware of who we really are and how we engage with the world.

All of these changes took place over time—they are still part of a practice–a new way of living–a NEW NORMAL—but they started with one crucial decision.

The decision that we wanted MORE.

That we were no longer going to settle for surviving…we wanted to THRIVE.

Our marriage is still a practice–we’re not perfect and never will be, but we’re always engaged in building something beautiful together, and that’s exciting and deeply fulfilling.

The Lifehouse Body & Soul Couples Retreat could be such a moment of decision for your coupleship. We’ll be in a beautiful place, comfortable and private accommodations, with gorgeous, healthy, delicious food, and lots of time and space spent learning and practicing the tools that can create a NEW NORMAL for you.

In life, I truly believe there are no magic wands or shortcuts, but there ARE simple mindsets and practices that can guide you back to the part of you that always knows your next right step, every step of the way: your own Higher Self.

If your heart and mind are open, I can promise you that this Retreat will give you the opportunity to find this whole and holy place within you. And when you leave us, I hope you’ll have discovered, it’s all you really need.

I hope you’ll consider practicing with us. It’s going to be amazing!

Learn more here: Couples Retreat

Love, Becky