Tag: trauma healing

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When the plot twist is exactly what you didn’t know you needed

Attending that first Conference marked a moment of decision for me: a decision to do whatever it took to heal–fully. To let go of the fears that had been holding me back–the fears of being judged or rejected because of our mistakes, of not having enough time or money to devote to my own personal growth, of settling for survival as good enough and just getting by.

After seeing first-hand what was possible, I decided I was done with settling.

I was going to thrive. And I started to.

I engaged fully in community: faithfully attending weekly meetings where I absorbed the strength and wisdom of others on similar journeys through hugs, tears, stories, and laughter. For years, I hardly missed a week.

I engaged fully in embodiment: learning how to use my body to release fear and find the warmth and tingle of divine connection through fitness, yoga, and meditation. My workouts and meditations were top daily priorities and I didn’t miss them.

I immersed myself in mindfulness-based psychology: working with trained therapists and spiritual teachers, immersing myself in courses and trainings that helped me understand and name what was happening inside me through both science and spirituality. This was a significant investment in both time and money.

I’d been thriving with these pillars for about 3 years when I was hit by my toughest challenge yet: a moment that made it clear that my husband was still in mindsets I couldn’t trust, and I was still unconsciously trying to control his behavior.

I couldn’t believe it: after all that work. After all that therapy. We were still stuck in our unconscious ways.

This moment called for my deepest surrender. It helped me see the fears I was still running from: the fears underneath the surface reality of my problems.

I realized that my identity was entirely wrapped up in my roles as mother and wife, the family and faith expectations I had internalized. I didn’t know how to be myself. In a lot of ways, I didn’t know who I was.

I realized I was still terrified of the unknown. It was so hard to let go of control and trust life, trust God, when I had no idea where that would take me. I was still grasping, still trying to secure an outcome that felt safe.

I realized how much desperate energy was attached to my wanting to be a good person. But whose definitions was I living by? I was still hooked into other people’s rules and opinions of me. I could sense this was holding me back from my most powerful, authentic self and the inner freedom I longed for.

This awakening was the real moment of decision for me: more of a jumping off the cliff than anything I had previously done. It was the moment I truly let go and offered my whole life to God, the Universe, a Greater Good—wherever that would lead me.

I stopped trying to manage my husband (or anybody else), control the outcome, or control other people’s perceptions of me, and I started living a grand experiment, focusing my full attention inward:

What is at my center right now, in this present moment?

Is my heart open? Do I feel connected to myself, to God?

What do I need to take ownership of, to make myself right, inside and out, right now?

What is life asking of me in this moment, and am I willing to give it, with my whole heart?

This was a whole nother level of living: a whole nother level of surrender and thriving and accountability and growth. And it would take me on a next-level journey.

If you’re a sucker for a crazy happy ending, watch for my email tomorrow, because what happened next still blows my mind.

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Why Sallie Still Inspires Me… an Incredible Journey of Healing through the Body

When Sallie first reached out to me to ask me if I thought The Lifehouse Body & Soul Practice could help her, I told her “Absolutely.”

Sallie had lost her husband a year earlier to cancer, leaving her a widow and single mother to four children. She was making her way, involved in support groups, and recently remarried to a wonderful man who’d also lost his wife to cancer. 

With a now-blended family of eight kids, Sallie had so much to live for and so many reasons to get herself back to where she was fully functioning.

But even with all the efforts she’d made, she felt that there was still healing that needed to happen. She bravely showed up to Practice at Lifehouse Body & Soul. 

Sallie was a natural with group exercise. She was strong, beautiful, and physically fit, and she attacked our challenging morning workouts with energy. 

It was the second half of class, the part of class where we slow things down, breathe, stretch, feel our bodies, and create space for our emotions to process, where Sallie struggled at first. 

I’ll never forget the first classes where I witnessed Sallie’s entire body clench up: her shoulders tight, her hips refusing to let go, her breath caught in her chest, afraid to release all that her body had been carrying for the past months. Tears overflowed and the intensity was almost too much for her to bear.

Sallie would text me after Practice, “I feel so much emotion, there’s so much coming up for me. Is this normal?” she would ask.

“Yes, it is. You’ve experienced a life-altering trauma, and your body is holding onto all that pain, all that fear. Unfortunately, if you really want to heal, you can’t go over it, under it, or around. You’re going to have to go through. And you’re strong enough to do it, here….with all of us holding you up. You’re not alone.” 

I knew this because I had moved through my own grief. I had felt the same resistance. I encouraged her to keep coming, and Sallie did, so bravely, so consistently. 

It wasn’t long before Sallie’s body stopped fighting. Practice classes gave her the opportunity to keep softening, keep listening, keep surrendering to the emotions that had gotten stuck when life had forced her into survival mode. 

She came to our Mindful Living Course classes devotedly and learned a whole new vocabulary to match the organic process she was experiencing through her body.

Mantras like “Thy will, not mine, be done,” “There is room for this, too,” and “I can’t, He can, and I will let Him,” became life rafts in the turbulent sea of her healing.

Over time, it was a sacred privilege to witness Sallie transform, to watch her body literally heal from the hard-wired trauma responses that had become an unwelcome override to her operating system.

Sallie became one of our most dedicated students, crediting the mindfulness tools and sacred space of love and acceptance in this community for her miraculous healing journey through the darkness of her profound grief, giving her the tools to propel herself towards a bright  future.

At Lifehouse Body & Soul, we don’t have any magic wands nor do we profess a systematic strategy guaranteed to fix all your problems. 

In our experience, that’s just not how deep, spiritual healing works.

We simply offer the grounded, intuitive, and time-tested tools and compassionate framework that can help you find yourself: mind, body, and spirit. 

We teach self-reflection: how to observe without judgment. How to respond with love. How to allow discomfort without resisting it. How to trust that you really are big enough to hold pain and uncertainty and deeply know that you will never be asked to do it alone.

The most surprising thing for so many people to realize is that everything they were looking for all along, is already right here, within them, exactly as they are. 

People like Sallie become true, spiritual friends; fellow travelers on a lifetime journey of personal growth. 

If you or someone you know is interested in a soul-level transformation to heal what is still not yet aligned in your heart or bodily tissues, we’d love to work with you. With consistent practice, an open mind, and a willing heart, there is nothing that cannot be healed.

A free consultation can help you understand which of our programs might be the best fit for you. We would love nothing more than to help you find the joy and inner freedom you were born for.

We’re so grateful to Sallie for being part of our Body & Soul family and allowing us to share her story.

With Love & Gratitude,

Becky