Ten years ago, my marriage blew up and I found myself in total chaos.
For months, even a few years, my mind was often spinning with intrusive thoughts, my emotions were so big I couldn’t pull out of them, and my body was freaking out doing weird things–like waking me up at 4 in the morning or locking my spine to where I couldn’t move for days on end.
Because I knew what I was experiencing was connected to the event that had taken place in my life, I didn’t want to medicate myself.
I knew intuitively that my mind and body were reacting for a reason, and I didn’t want to numb them. I wanted to understand them, and learn how to work with them more skillfully.
This led me to a healing pathway that changed my life forever.
It started with learning the language of betrayal trauma: an actual physiological condition that mirrors PTSD and occurs when our primary attachments go from being our most trusted safe places to the source of our deepest pain.
Suddenly, my chaotic experience began to make perfect sense.
Of course I felt crazy, my body had kicked me into my limbic system–my survival brain–where the most reactive, instinctual parts of me were now behind the wheel, desperately trying to protect me 24/7.
Of course my body felt weird–I was filling it with cortisol and adrenaline day-in and day-out as I navigated an unexpected and unwelcome new reality on high alert.
Understanding trauma gave me the tools and language to not only work with the chaos in my mind and body, it gave me the foundation to start to trust myself again.
I spent about seven years in betrayal trauma recovery, eventually becoming a sponsor, presenter, administrator, and author of recovery materials.
The more I learned, healed, and observed others on similar journeys, the more obvious it became that some kind of relational trauma was almost universal—and that it’s where most people remain stuck.
I realized that without an understanding of the role trauma was playing in my experience and my reactions, I would never have been able to fully heal.
It would be like playing the game without a full deck of cards.
That’s why after seven years, I left the 12-step world of addiction and trauma recovery, and created a mindfulness-based, trauma-informed program to bring the same tools and healing principles to the world.
Because the fact is, there’s more than one kind of betrayal, and whatever kind you experience, it creates its own kind of trauma in the body that will hold you hostage for days, weeks, decades, if you don’t know how to work with it.
Your body might be holding on to a sense of betrayal from the way you were raised, from a religion, from a career gone wrong, from life itself, from God, and yes….from an intimate partner.
If you struggle with unresolved feelings of bitterness, resentment, victimhood, paranoia, numbness, or apathy that you can trace back to an event or relationship that has a tinge of betrayal to it, you’re likely dealing with a trauma you never even realized.
And you’ll be stuck until you start working with a trauma-informed toolkit.
This is why I’m offering a FREE teaching on the 5 Types of Betrayal: a 2-part Webinar Series that will help you understand common ways people experience betrayal, how you can tell if you’re still carrying trauma, and what it takes to heal from it.
I never want anyone to experience the loneliness and isolation that I went through before I found the trauma-informed tools that could actually help me.
I never want anyone to miss the beautiful journey of growth and healing that is so possible with the right framework and support.
If you or someone you know has struggled with feelings of bitterness, victimhood, or apathy and they’d like to know more, please register here to be part of this LIVE training for absolutely free.
With love and fellowship on the journey,
Becky
P.S. This training goes LIVE on Tuesday, Nov 19th & Thursday, Nov 21st at 7pm MDT/9pm ET, and if you’re not available you can watch the replay. I hope you’ll join us here!